Senior Sunrise

After my father passed away last year, living independently became increasingly difficult for my mother. So, a few months ago, my wife and I invited her to come live with us. She immediately began to show more zeal and energy. However, while my wife and I went to work each day, she was left to her own devices around the home and was often bored.

It was evident that something needed to be done, but I had never been faced with this sort of quandary before, so I did what any modern American would do and turned to the internet. In a short time I found a senior day care center near our home. While the moniker may deter some people, these facilities provide a much-needed service; they offer seniors a place to congregate during the day and keep entertained with their peers, who often have similar interests.

When children grow up and leave the house, some parents experience what is known as empty nest syndrome. It is marked by a general feeling of loneliness and isolation by the parents. While studies have indicated that it is most often associated with mothers, it has been seen in both sexes and, as such, can definitely affect mothers and fathers alike. While many parents who are going to experience these feelings do so when the child first moves away, there are also reports that these feelings can return when the child is married.

In both instances, the role of the parent is reduced in the child’s life. The parent is no longer immediately needed or involved in the child’s life, and this is often seen as the root of the syndrome. Some have argued that it’s more common now than ever because the extended family has slowly been removed from western society, meaning elderly parents are often left living alone. There are several senior solutions that can help, including exercise, taking part in community events, and planning family get-togethers and reunions.

My grandmother is 87 years old and still lives independently, but all of her children live in a different state. Having had medication mix-ups when emergency treatment was administered in the past, she has been cautious about traveling recently and has missed an important event or two. In order to ensure that she receives the proper medical care and attention, we have prepared an advanced medical directive.

If she were to require medical attention during a visit, this form would assist the hospital or urgent care center and ensure they do not make a mistake with her medications, allergies, or any other medical issues she may have. It also specifies what measures should be taken in a traumatic scenarios. A medical directive is an essential component in ensuring that the proper measures are taken in the event of an emergency.

It’s not easy for elderly individuals to admit when they need help. At least that’s the view I’ve come to espouse based on experience. My own parents were raised in Depression-era New York state, and they asked no quarter from anyone their entire lives. My own kids occasionally asked me why Grandpa was so persistent about asking them to clean their plates, and the answer was obvious to me. When they were growing up, my parents worked hard to make their own way in life, and they didn’t waste anything.

My father has been gone for two years now, and mom had a difficult time coping at first. In recent months, she’s really begun to lose her way. She forgets things all the time, and I’m beginning to worry about her ability to function safely all alone at home. My wife mentioned the possibility of getting some at-home assistance, and I agreed that a caregiving service would be prudent. Mom didn’t like the idea at first, but she had to swallow her pride and trust that I was doing what was best for her.

Caring for loved ones at home is both rewarding, and challenging. Sometimes caregivers are unaware of all the medical aides, products and supplies that are available to help them care for a loved one.  Here are some examples of very practical items that are not expensive, yet, very helpful.

(Bed rail, bath/shower seat, audio monitor, bath & cleansing cloths, dental swabs, lightweight wheelchair, washable underpads for bedding, disposable underpads for bedding, shower safety mats, sani-pant moisture brief cover ups, raised tiolet set, shampoo basin)

These are just a few items that could make a big difference in caregiving. Remember caregivers, you deserve a bit of assistance as well. Visit our Products and Supplies page on our website.

Everybody who is caring for an elderly family member or friend deserves to have a day off. Caring for somebody with extensive medical or emotional issues can be very difficult, and it can feel like a fulltime job. As such, in order to continue to perform these duties at the highest possible level, it’s important that you give yourself a little bit of time to unwind and relax. If you find yourself a bit burned out, look into the possibility of senior day care.

These programs provide safe and entertaining places for a senior to spend the day with other seniors. Like any daycare program, make sure you look into the facility and caregivers. If you’ve determined that they’re reputable and personable, make sure they are specially trained and equipped to deal with whatever medical issues your senior might have. If your senior suffers from Alzheimer’s, for example, make sure it’s a senior day care program that specializes in this condition. In this way, they know what to expect from your senior, and they know how to deal with it properly.

If you’re considering the important decision of taking an elderly or sick individual into your home, there are many things to consider with this decision. First and foremost, you have to ask yourself if you’re emotionally prepared for that kind of strain and stress. Senior care can be a rewarding experience, but people shouldn’t underestimate how much of a time commitment and emotional investment it will be. Also make sure you’re competent enough to provide safe care.

This competency requires that you are willing and able to administer all necessary medical care and procedures. From insulin shots to changing an adult diaper, there are many things you’ll have to know how to do before the person ever arrives. You must also consider whether you’re financially ready to take another person into your home. It will be an additional mouth to feed and person to care for, and this can be a big drain on your funds. As such, you should make sure you’re ready for that financial hit.

You probably didn’t know that taking care of a sick person is often just as physically, mentally and emotionally taxing as being sick. Taking care of someone may involve heavy lifting, long hours and sleepless nights. These factors combined can have seriously detrimental affects on the caretaker. Family caregivers need to make sure they are also taking care of themselves. Here are a few pointers to stress relief:

1.) Seek outside help if you need it.
2.) Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep per night.
3.) Eat a balanced diet.

     Sometimes words aren’t enough. If you’re caring for a loved one, you know there’s no way to explaing the complex emotions and concerns that fill your days…and nights.

     Yes, years ago you may have watched and even helped your mother or father take care of a grandparent. Your, your borther or sister may have been the caregiver for his or her spouse. Yes, you may have a friend whose child has special needs.

     However, it’s different when you’re the caregiver.  When your loved one is the care-receiver It’s different when your parent, your spouse, your child is depending on you, and it seems that need is increasing at an alarming rate.

     You know that now. You know so many things about the caregiving that words alone, - or even witnessing the example of others -  could never teach you.  You know now that caregiving can include hard lessons that come fast and furiously, that a new challenge can be thrust on you at any time, day or night. And you know that - at the same time - it can include moments of grace and incredible blessings that fill your heart and soul.

     In the midst of all this how can you make through one more day? Three keys - three ways of taking a small step back and looking at what’s happening  - can help you take a big step closer to becoming the loving caregiver you want to be.

First Key: Understanding - The stress of caregiving can unleash a torrent of unexpected emotions and brings challenges that often have not clear solutions. At times, anger can surface for reasons that would be easier to identify and understand if you and your loved one weren’t alreadly so physically and emotionally drained. As your loved one’s health continues to fail, he or she is going to need more and more attention, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to continue to match that need. Keep in mind also that no matter how much you do for your loved one, his or her health is going to deteriorate. You Loved one is going to die, and it will not be your fault.

Second Key: Empathy - You loved one values his or her independence, and many decisions you and he or she make revolve around this key concept. Giving up control, or having it snatched form us, can make us angry and frightened. What you may se as a mere detail can be monumental to your loved one. The process of aging or dealing with a terminal condition is a process of letting go bit by bit.  It’s losing many things and being forced to accept that many if not most of them will never be replaced.

Go slowly, Be gentle. Don’t suddently charge in and take control. Start with small things. If at all possible, let your loved one play a part.

Third Key: Acceptance - No matter how you arrived at this point, no matter what your particular responsibilities and concerns have become, you may find it helpful to realize-or to consider once again-that caregiving has a spiritual component.You may find it helpful to pause for a moment and make the conscious decision to be your loved ones’ caregiver, to accept this role, to acknowledge this God-given vocation.

God alone knows all the prticular circumstances - the feelings and emotions, the life experiences and personality quirks, the baggage and hot buttons - that can make taking care of another person hard work. And knowing all that, God has chosen you to play a central role in providing that care.

The love we offer to an aging parent spouse, family member, or friend is always accompanied by God’s infinite love for that person  …and for us.