Senior Sunrise

You probably didn’t know that taking care of a sick person is often just as physically, mentally and emotionally taxing as being sick. Taking care of someone may involve heavy lifting, long hours and sleepless nights. These factors combined can have seriously detrimental affects on the caretaker. Family caregivers need to make sure they are also taking care of themselves. Here are a few pointers to stress relief:

1.) Seek outside help if you need it.
2.) Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep per night.
3.) Eat a balanced diet.

     Sometimes words aren’t enough. If you’re caring for a loved one, you know there’s no way to explaing the complex emotions and concerns that fill your days…and nights.

     Yes, years ago you may have watched and even helped your mother or father take care of a grandparent. Your, your borther or sister may have been the caregiver for his or her spouse. Yes, you may have a friend whose child has special needs.

     However, it’s different when you’re the caregiver.  When your loved one is the care-receiver It’s different when your parent, your spouse, your child is depending on you, and it seems that need is increasing at an alarming rate.

     You know that now. You know so many things about the caregiving that words alone, – or even witnessing the example of others -  could never teach you.  You know now that caregiving can include hard lessons that come fast and furiously, that a new challenge can be thrust on you at any time, day or night. And you know that – at the same time – it can include moments of grace and incredible blessings that fill your heart and soul.

     In the midst of all this how can you make through one more day? Three keys – three ways of taking a small step back and looking at what’s happening  – can help you take a big step closer to becoming the loving caregiver you want to be.

First Key: Understanding - The stress of caregiving can unleash a torrent of unexpected emotions and brings challenges that often have not clear solutions. At times, anger can surface for reasons that would be easier to identify and understand if you and your loved one weren’t alreadly so physically and emotionally drained. As your loved one’s health continues to fail, he or she is going to need more and more attention, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to continue to match that need. Keep in mind also that no matter how much you do for your loved one, his or her health is going to deteriorate. You Loved one is going to die, and it will not be your fault.

Second Key: Empathy - You loved one values his or her independence, and many decisions you and he or she make revolve around this key concept. Giving up control, or having it snatched form us, can make us angry and frightened. What you may se as a mere detail can be monumental to your loved one. The process of aging or dealing with a terminal condition is a process of letting go bit by bit.  It’s losing many things and being forced to accept that many if not most of them will never be replaced.

Go slowly, Be gentle. Don’t suddently charge in and take control. Start with small things. If at all possible, let your loved one play a part.

Third Key: Acceptance - No matter how you arrived at this point, no matter what your particular responsibilities and concerns have become, you may find it helpful to realize-or to consider once again-that caregiving has a spiritual component.You may find it helpful to pause for a moment and make the conscious decision to be your loved ones’ caregiver, to accept this role, to acknowledge this God-given vocation.

God alone knows all the prticular circumstances – the feelings and emotions, the life experiences and personality quirks, the baggage and hot buttons – that can make taking care of another person hard work. And knowing all that, God has chosen you to play a central role in providing that care.

The love we offer to an aging parent spouse, family member, or friend is always accompanied by God’s infinite love for that person  …and for us.