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These days, people spend a great deal of time working in the hope of advancing materially in life.  They worry constantly about the assets that they acquire, what will happen if they go before they are ready. So, what can be done?  We ask, what is a living trust? 

A living trust is an arrangement under which one person called trustee holds legal title to property for another person called a beneficiary. It is simply a trust created while still alive rather than one that is created upon death. There are different kinds of living trusts and each can be helpful in different ways.

We are all aware of child abuse.  What we are not as informed about is abuse of the elderly. We are a society that is worried about our population that is growing older by the day.  It is a consolation to know that there is an agency called Adult Protective Services or APS whose mission is to provide protection against adult abuse. 

The APS is responsible for investigating abuse, neglect and exploitation of adults who are elderly or have disabilities. It is a non-profit association which shares information and improves the quality of services for victims of adult abuse.

So I walked to the door and knocked. ‘Just a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

‘Would you carry my bag out to the car?’ she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. ‘It’s nothing’, I told her. ‘I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated’.

‘Oh, you’re such a good boy’, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, ‘Could you drive through downtown?’

‘It’s not the shortest way,’ I answered quickly.

‘Oh, I don’t mind,’ she said. ‘I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice’.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. ‘I don’t have any family left,’ she continued. ‘The doctor says I don’t have very long.’ I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

‘What route would you like me to take?’ I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, ‘I’m tired. Let’s go now.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.  It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

‘How much do I owe you?’ she asked, reaching into her purse.

‘Nothing,’ I said

‘You have to make a living,’ she answered.

‘There are other passengers,’ I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

‘You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,’ she said.

‘Thank you.’

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People  may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.  (unknown)

I raise my eyes toward the mountains. From where will by help come?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. God will not allow your foot to slip; your guardian does not sleep;

Truly, the guardian of Israel never slumbers nor sleeps.  The Lord is your guardian; the Lord is your shade at your right hand.  By day the sun cannot harm you, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will guard you from all evil will always guard your life. The Lord will guard your coming and going both now and forever.

About 80% of patients with Alzheimer’s disease are cared for by family members, who often lack adequate support, finances, or training for this difficult job. Few diseases disrupt a patient and his or her family so completely or for so long a period of time as Alzheimer’s. The patient’s family endures two separate losses and grieves twice:

• First, they must grieve for the ongoing disappearance of the personality they recognize. Dealing with the patient throughout the course of the disease is like Alice’s fall down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. No sooner has the caregiver grappled with one set of problems, when the patient’s further deterioration creates new and more intractable ones.
• Finally, the caregiver must grieve the actual death of the person.

Often, caregivers themselves begin to show signs of mental disorder or ill health. The disease may even have negative effects on the immune systems of the patients’ partners. Depression, empathy, exhaustion, guilt, and anger can play havoc with even a healthy individual faced with the care of a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s. The care-giving spouse is usually elderly and often frail. Children are likely to have grown up and may live far away

Although the great majority of caregivers have expressed their need for good information, in a 2001 study only 28% of caregivers believe they have received thorough and helpful information from their doctors. It is important for caregivers to receive counseling and support for themselves. Studies suggest that caregivers who are offered counseling on coping and handling stress experience fewer reactions to their patient’s behavioral problems than those without such help. In one study in which caregivers took part in support programs, institutionalization of the patient was delayed by a year. National and local Alzheimer’s associations are available and can provide important support and other services.

 Source: The American Journal of Alzheimer’s Care and Related Disorders & Research, Nov/Dec 1989

A  wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of  art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to  Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the  great works of  art.

When  the  Vietnam conflict  broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous  and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The  father was notified and grieved deeply for his only  son.

About  a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock  at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large  package in his hands.

He  said, “Sir, you don’t know me, but I am the soldier for  whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that  day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet  struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often  talked about you, and your love for art.” The young man  held out this package. “I know this isn’t much. I’m not  really a great artist, but I think your son would have  wanted you to have this.”

The  father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son,  painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way  the soldier had captured the personality of his son in  the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that  his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young  man and offered to pay him for the picture. “Oh, no sir,  I could never repay what your son did for me. It’s a gift.”

The  father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time  visitors came to his home he took them to see the  portrait of his son before he showed them any of the  other great works he had collected.

The  man died a few months later. There was to be a great  auction of his paintings Many influential people  gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and  having an opportunity to purchase one for their  collection.

On  the platform sat the painting of the son The auctioneer  pounded his gavel. “We will start the bidding with this  picture of the son. Who will bid for this  picture?”

There  was silence.

Then  a voice in the back of the room shouted, “We want to see  the famous paintings. Skip this one.”

But  the auctioneer persisted. “Will somebody bid for this  painting. Who will start the bidding? $100,  $200?”

Another  voice angrily. “We didn’t come to see this painting. We  came to see the Van Gogh’s, the Rembrandt’s. Get on with  the real bids!”

But  still the auctioneer continued. “The son! The son!  Who’ll take the son?”

Finally,  a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the  longtime gardener of the man and his son. “I’ll give $10  for the painting.” Being a poor man, it was all he could  afford.

“We  have $10, who will bid $20?”

“Give  it to him for $10. Let’s see the masters.”

“$10  is the bid, won’t someone bid $20?”

The  crowd was becoming angry. They didn’t want the picture  of the son.

They  wanted the more worthy investments for their  collections.

The  auctioneer pounded the gavel. “Going once, twice, SOLD  for $10!”

A  man sitting on the second row shouted, “Now let’s get on  with the collection!”

The  auctioneer laid down his gavel. “I’m sorry, the auction  is over.”

“What  about the paintings?”

“I  am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I  was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not  allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only  the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever  bought that painting would inherit the entire estate,  including the paintings.

The  man who took the son gets everything!”

God  gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much  like the auctioneer, His message today is: “The son, the  son, who’ll take the son?”

Because,  you see, whoever takes the Son gets  everything.

                                         Author Unknown

FOR  GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,  WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE….THAT’S  LOVE.

The rules of tradition :

Whether you’re attending a formal traditional funeral or a unique personalized funeral, there are some unwritten rules of etiquette to follow. It’s important to be aware of these expectations to avoid offending anyone or embarrassing yourself. It can be difficult to know what to do or say when you or someone you care for has lost a loved one. Most people don’t have to deal with death on a regular basis and it may even be the case that you’re attending your first funeral.

Attending a Wake - Before the funeral

It’s quite common for a wake (sometimes called a visitation) to be held during the two days prior to a funeral. The wake offers mourners a chance to say goodbye to their loved one, while gathering together for support. Sometimes the casket will be open and people can actually touch or speak directly to the body.

Most people appreciate the chance to attend a wake. It can provide a sense of closure or acceptance to those who have lost someone. A wake can be either public or private, so if you’re organizing one you’ll have to be clear about your expectations for family, friends and  acquaintances.

Funeral Clothing - What to wear

The funeral tradition is changing as personalized funerals become more common. You can select from all kinds of different clothing options for a non-traditional memorial. One of the most common is the memorial t-shirt - mourners will wear a t-shirt bearing a picture of the deceased and perhaps a brief message. While the personalization of a funeral may change the way you’d typically dress for such an occasion, there are still some common rules for funeral attire in general:

Anyone attending a funeral should be properly dressed in a manner that conveys respect for the deceased and the bereaved. Colorful clothing isn’t usually an appropriate choice, but more important is that everything should be clean and well pressed

What to Say - Expressions of sympathy

Most people don’t have to deal with the funeral process on a regular basis, which means that it can be hard to know exactly how to express sympathy to those who have lost a loved one. For the most part, you’ll want to remember that the bereaved are going through a difficult, stressful and sometimes confusing time in their lives. You need to address this directly, avoiding the use of clichés or any kind of expressions that trivialize or generalize what they’re going through. No one experiences death in the same way so you have to think of the people you’re speaking to.

Attending a Funeral - What to do

If you’re attending a traditional funeral you might be aware of some of the common customs, and therefore can be ready for the process. If you’re attending a non-traditional or personalized funeral, there’s a greater chance that you won’t be familiar with what will happen. However, regardless of the type of funeral you’re attending, there are some common rules of etiquette for attending a funeral:

God of mercy, look kindly on your servant who has grown weak under the burden of years.

I ask for healing in body and soul. Fill me with the strength of your Holy Spirit.

Keep me firm in faith and serene in hope, so that I  may give  all an example of patience and joyfully witness to the power of your love.

In your name O Lord, I pray.      Amen

Source: Pastoral Care of the Sick