Funeral Etiquette
The rules of tradition :
Whether you’re attending a formal traditional funeral or a unique personalized funeral, there are some unwritten rules of etiquette to follow. It’s important to be aware of these expectations to avoid offending anyone or embarrassing yourself. It can be difficult to know what to do or say when you or someone you care for has lost a loved one. Most people don’t have to deal with death on a regular basis and it may even be the case that you’re attending your first funeral.
Attending a Wake - Before the funeral
It’s quite common for a wake (sometimes called a visitation) to be held during the two days prior to a funeral. The wake offers mourners a chance to say goodbye to their loved one, while gathering together for support. Sometimes the casket will be open and people can actually touch or speak directly to the body.
Most people appreciate the chance to attend a wake. It can provide a sense of closure or acceptance to those who have lost someone. A wake can be either public or private, so if you’re organizing one you’ll have to be clear about your expectations for family, friends and acquaintances.
Funeral Clothing - What to wear
The funeral tradition is changing as personalized funerals become more common. You can select from all kinds of different clothing options for a non-traditional memorial. One of the most common is the memorial t-shirt - mourners will wear a t-shirt bearing a picture of the deceased and perhaps a brief message. While the personalization of a funeral may change the way you’d typically dress for such an occasion, there are still some common rules for funeral attire in general:
Anyone attending a funeral should be properly dressed in a manner that conveys respect for the deceased and the bereaved. Colorful clothing isn’t usually an appropriate choice, but more important is that everything should be clean and well pressed
What to Say - Expressions of sympathy
Most people don’t have to deal with the funeral process on a regular basis, which means that it can be hard to know exactly how to express sympathy to those who have lost a loved one. For the most part, you’ll want to remember that the bereaved are going through a difficult, stressful and sometimes confusing time in their lives. You need to address this directly, avoiding the use of clichés or any kind of expressions that trivialize or generalize what they’re going through. No one experiences death in the same way so you have to think of the people you’re speaking to.
Attending a Funeral - What to do
If you’re attending a traditional funeral you might be aware of some of the common customs, and therefore can be ready for the process. If you’re attending a non-traditional or personalized funeral, there’s a greater chance that you won’t be familiar with what will happen. However, regardless of the type of funeral you’re attending, there are some common rules of etiquette for attending a funeral: